i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
