you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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