To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
