We won't sleep together?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
