too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
