woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
