Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
