all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
