butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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