When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
