i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
