I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
