nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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