I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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