Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
