the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just google imaged poop.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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