I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
