Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Duck Duck Cougar?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
