Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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