also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
