Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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