guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
