She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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