it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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