god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Found your dick twin last night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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