his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
