I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
