I hate your face
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
