Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
