It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
