I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
