yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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