just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
