i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
