But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
