I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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