Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
