At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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