What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
