First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
