Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
