wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
