Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
