Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
