Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
