Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize