Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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