I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
