apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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