Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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