we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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