went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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